entrenched in attrition

backwards, backwards
guide me thru the darkness
bang! bang!
i'll follow your lead,
to hell from here is a short dirt track
with ginnell gates,
clack! clack!
in the sucking breeze.
cyrrus clouds; streaming
scanning, strobing, scudding and reversing
in stop motion mime.
suck, blow, suck, blow;
a whistle in retreat
scrunch! scrunch!
the troops are following
knees raised, heels back, toes down.
backwards, backwards
bang! bang!
guide me thru the darkness
guide me, guide me:

backwards, backwards

guide me thru the darkness

bang! bang!

i'll follow your lead,

to hell from here is a short dirt track

with ginnell gates,

clack! clack!

in the sucking breeze.

cyrrus clouds; streaming

scanning, strobing, scudding and reversing

in stop motion mime.

suck, blow, suck, blow;

a whistle in retreat

scrunch! scrunch!

the troops are following

knees raised, heels back, toes down.

backwards, backwards

bang! bang!

guide me thru the darkness

guide me, guide me:

backwards, backwards

guide me thru the darkness

bang! bang!

i'll follow your lead,

to hell from here is a short dirt track

with ginnell gates,

clack! clack!

in the sucking breeze.

cyrrus clouds; streaming

scanning, strobing, scudding and reversing

in stop motion mime.

suck, blow, suck, blow;

a whistle in retreat

scrunch! scrunch!

the troops are following

knees raised, heels back, toes down.

backwards, backwards

bang! bang!

guide me thru the darkness

guide me, guide me:

backwards, backwards

guide me thru the darkness

bang! bang!

i'll follow your lead,

to hell from here is a short dirt track

with ginnell gates,

clack! clack!

in the sucking breeze.

cyrrus clouds; streaming

scanning, strobing, scudding and reversing

in stop motion mime.

suck, blow, suck, blow;

a whistle in retreat

scrunch! scrunch!

the troops are following

knees raised, heels back, toes down.

backwards, backwards

bang! bang!

guide me thru the darkness

guide me, guide me:

backwards, backwards

guide me thru the darkness

bang! bang!

i'll follow your lead,

to hell from here is a short dirt track

with ginnell gates,

clack! clack!

in the sucking breeze.

cyrrus clouds; streaming

scanning, strobing, scudding and reversing

in stop motion mime.

suck, blow, suck, blow;

a whistle in retreat

scrunch! scrunch!

the troops are following

knees raised, heels back, toes down.

backwards, backwards

bang! bang!

guide me thru the darkness

guide me, guide me:

gap filling

tongue tied and writer blocked battling against the broadband connection, for time to write,save and post.

i'm settled in my daily drudge late rising, teaching, swiping at the little-ones' essays with great bloody strokes of my red pen and so late to bed.

yesterday was the 100th day funeral rights of a another bangkok friend, a delightful man, a great barman, and boy could he walk in high heeled boots, good bye dear friend.

my local 'department store' at my local, and near abandoned mall was playing christmas songs this last weekend, and even during this muslim holiday all the head scarved muslim girls, who handle your beer bottles only with gloves on, sang me a merry christmas and a happy new year, blushing and giggling as i stowed my groceries in my back pack.

it's not that i'd forgotten about christmas, but, unlike the beautiful country jaunt last year, the fickleness of that finger of fate has me cooking for and spending christmas with the same two people i spent the last two christmas' days with in the uk, who for different reasons (choice/deportation) are here in dullsville(kl).

i'm not complaing but coincidences of circumstance are getting a little bit too frequent, ex lovers and ex boyfriends of 20yrs or more ago turning up as near neighbours and groundhog day christmases are less amusing stories in their constant repeating.

celcom broadband willing and creative juices to spare i will write less clearly and more creatively soon.

the snake the pussy and the man

anyway about the black cobra and the ginger tom, and me

we all met at the end of the track one eve

nobody seemed to know what to do or say

but ginger tom is there now most days

i think we were both excited by our new neighbour

i hope my lame haiku is not too lame an explanation

a cobra, ginger-tom and me,

eye to eye to eye.

what fine winter gloves i thought!

fuckwits

at wits end, i'm livid, i'm furious, i'm black eyed and un-appeased.

why am i so trusting, so keen to throw cash around in helping people? it's been a theme for years, lesson learned? not!

and it's my birthday soon, my petty wish to celebrate it at the beyonce concert with an old friend may yet come to fruition (i know you're still stuck on the beyonce bit, but it all ties in); i just have to juggle my finances, rob me to pay them, and as long as barclays have there drop of blood, i'm safe.

i'll get thru this fuggy fog of unpaid dues, and hold them to account, bangkok soon for a visa run (that's all wrong n topsy-turvey) a weekend of real friends, weekend markets, restrained shopping and a fuggy foggy eyed flight back to kl.

did i tell you about the black cobra? (no not some sexual adventure) and the ginger tom? (there you go again) later .

it was only fit to leave it a year or more

like good cheese, i felt, a year or more upon the shelf would let the blog mature.
i've been upon the shelf a year or more and i certainly have.
at least in looks.

since my first attempt at filling space, i've been around, lost a bit of my heart, a lot of money, a little weight, and some hair.
from bangkok i went to kuala lumpur where i worked.
it was dull, but had some addictive qualities.
it became necessary to leave.
i followed a gang of reprobate westerners, mostly, to jakarta, this is where the little piece of much reduced heart was scattered, he's a great guy trully, and maybe i should have shouted it louder.
you can party, in the sense of night club, there like i've never partied before.
but this party ran out of steam and police protection.

and back it was to bangkok
a couple of months on little money and patience and off again with the wittled band of reprobates to a beach house in cebu, philipines.
more bull shit
bull shit
and german measles, oh yes at 40 i had the measles,
better than the dengue they suspected.

this beach dream so full of promise drove me to distraction, so back again to bangkok, and four months of part time work only a little socialising and a lot of crime detection
between the covers. that is.

some idiot, threw me a life line, it went far out to sea, and brought me back to kuala lumpur.
the dullest place (possibly) on earth where malay muslim women wear tents of floral polyester, and people sit around drinking sugared drinks, and "loving it" so much most men have breasts...........
to work in a korean, english language school, run by lying, angelic faced evil to the core, christian presbyterian missionaries, whose only mission is to spread bigotry and bigotry and some more bigotry.

well being a black loving, occasional jew hugging, rampant homosexual i did not last long, i was sacked and on the same day a ladyboy,a friend, a venus of her ilk, died in bangkok.

its true every time someone says, "i do not believe in fairies!" one dies.

enough for now......................

been away a long time
avoiding being sued
while suing
kind of
screwed again by a lying cheating boss
40 people lose their jobs and months of wages
all seemed to good to be true
not the end of the world
been telemarketing in kuala lumpur and jakarta
and soon be doing more of the same in the philipines
ill try and write something interesting? soon

blog the fourth

sorry for the gap
mai phen rai (never mind )
you missed the performance
was something to behold
proud to know these guys
life has been on hold money depleted
down to the cheapest beer and fried food
but at least im no longer on the run
friends married on samed island
prepared the blooms , they survived the trip and heat and were glorious
i may post a pic
grand fun
legs and back injured from dancing
but alive n well
in a bit of a hiatus ,chores to perform
but no spirit to perform them or to perform
and i will be found out, and i will compensate
but i hate living on small change
so sitting and reading
cruising the web and off to the cheapest spa in town to have my spirits lifted